Shootings and Other On-the-job Hazards."
by Alan Smithee
Summary: As one Sub gets shot, another's feelings are finally brought to the forefront.


Legion:NEXT script: "Shootings and other on-the-job hazards."  
  
by Tom Greene.  
  
Time Taking Place: About 24 months into the run.  
  
Some of these characters/situations/other stuff may be the copyright of DC Comics. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.   
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!   
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.   
  
1,1. An empty L:NEXT room. Cornell is sitting around watching TV. A phone rings.  
  
1,2. Cornell answers the phone.  
  
Cornell:  
  
You wanted the best, you got a reasonable facsimile! What's your problem?  
  
Voice:  
  
Help! I am currently being trapped by a Super-Villain with a gun and a bad attitude!  
  
1,3. Cornell looks like she's bored.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Darn. Another "Save one person from one bad dude?" That's SO original.  
  
Voice:  
  
I'll pay money!  
  
1,4. Cornell gets a typical "Super-Hero to the rescue" pose.  
  
Cornell:  
  
I'll be right there!  
  
1,5. A decrepit street alley. Cornell has went to the end of the alley, but doesn't see anything.  
  
Cornell:  
  
GODDAMN THESE STUPID PRANK PHONE CALLS! THEY DO IT TO ME EVERY TIME!  
  
Voice:  
  
Good old Jocelyn, always the gullible one.  
  
1,6. Cornell is shocked.  
  
Cornell:  
  
YOU! THE TRAITOR!  
  
1,7. The voice is revealed to be McKnight.  
  
McKnight:  
  
Come on now. Just because I became a member of the Legion of Super-Villains and tried to kill the team on many different occasions doesn't mean that we can't still be friends, can it?  
  
1,8. Cornell has a brave pose, but her face looks like she's trying to reason with McKnight.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Come on. We used to be friends. We worked like hell on the SWO line together. I helped you hit it off with your girlfriend! I've helped you in so many ways it's sickening. Besides, you can't hurt me. You know, invulnerability?  
  
1,9. McKnight looks like he's certain about something.  
  
McKnight:  
  
I know a lot about your entire history and I took stock of our friendship. You know what?  
  
2-3. Alternate form of paging.Letterboxed on top and bottom.   
  
Top: Title, other stuff like that.  
  
Bottom:   
  
The Players:  
  
CORNELL (eyes closed.)  
Name: Jocelyn Kent.  
Power: Invulnerability?/radiating invulnerability to others for periods of time.  
  
BOOMBASTIC(screaming)  
  
Name: Shane Matzner.  
Powers: Nigh-invulnerability, ability to amplify and copy others' powers, immortality, ability to throw out the form of green fireballs, ?  
  
BENDER(looking to his left as if to say "Settle down!")  
  
Name: Steve Williamson.  
Power: To bend reality to whatever the hell he wants to.  
  
MOMENTUM(with confused look on his face)  
  
Name: Dave Goldberg.  
Power: Ability to defeat any opponent.  
  
BRISK.(with his head somewhat down.)  
  
Name: John Ryder.  
Power: Healing factor, ability to radiate heat and cold.  
  
THROWBACK.(shocked)  
  
Name: Melissa Prince.  
Power: Can redirect any other person's power.  
  
POWERTRIP.(shocked)  
  
Name: Cat Prefect.  
Power: Can become radioactive at will.  
  
2-3 major piece: McKnight pulling out a gun, saying "Sprock that!" while Cornell screams.  
  
In panel(smaller panels through middle):  
  
1: McKnight fires.  
  
2: The Bullet travels.  
  
3: The bullet travels.  
  
4: The bullet hits Cornell.  
  
5: Cornell starts to fall.  
  
6: Cornell falls to the ground.  
  
4,1. A spaceport. BENDER, MOMENTUM, and BOOMBASTIC are sitting around talking.Boombastic and Bender look like they're laughing while Momentum has a sour look.  
  
BENDER:  
  
So, you think he can do that stuff?  
  
BOOMBASTIC:  
  
What? Dave? HA!  
  
MOMENTUM:  
  
Come on you guys. I'm going to need to try sooner or later, and she might go for me!  
  
4,2. The three continue to talk. Bender has a graph that shows a high line with his logo on it, a middling line with Boombastic's, and a lower line with Momentum's.  
  
Bender:  
  
Come on. I asked her and she wouldn't go for me, and I am much more attractive than you. The poster sales prove it!  
  
Momentum:  
  
Well, maybe the fact that you're 17 and she's FOURTEEN had something to do with it!  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Hey, let's let the kid try. B-Fresh won't alter any reality for it. If you can get Ayla to go out with you, me and him will split the cost for it.  
  
4,3.  
  
Momentum:  
  
Okay. I'll try that. Who are you going after, Steve?  
  
Bender:  
  
You know. I might try to go for Throwback. I hear she's into my Americano Heat.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
What about your bet for me?  
  
4,4. Momentum looks like he's laughing on the inside just from the question.  
  
Momentum:  
  
Come on, man! You can test which company owns the tabloid by who they say you're jonesing for! Either they spread the rumor you and Jamie are together, they say you left Jamie for Jocelyn, or they say you left both for Steve!  
  
Bender:  
  
HEY!   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, I won't say anything about the first two. The last is an utter lie.  
  
4,5. They go into a well-bumper stickered, well-worn speeder and drive off.  
  
4,6. They reach the Headquarters.   
  
4,7. They look to find no one there.  
  
4,8. Boombastic looks surprised.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
CRAP! WE'RE EMPTY. Where's Jocelyn? She has got some 'splaining to do!  
  
4,9. He hears a call on the "L" symbol on his belt.  
  
Voice:  
  
Shane! Dave! Steve! Get to the hospital ASAP. We have some problems!  
  
5,1. You see a doctor in the panel. He looks quite grim.  
  
Doctor:  
  
We got to her just in time to have a hope to save her life. However, the shooter apparently did everything to either kill this girl or at least really hurt her.   
  
5,2. Boombastic bursts through the door.  
  
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?  
  
Brisk tries to calm his brother down.  
  
Brisk:  
  
I checked this stuff, man. Apparently, Jocelyn was trying to stop some crime and was shot in the chest.  
  
5,3. CLOSE-UP: Boombastic's face. You see him close to tears.  
  
5,4. You see Boombastic run out of the doors.  
  
5,5. Bender is a little surprised from this.  
  
Bender:  
  
Whoa. I never thought that he would react like that. I knew they were friends, but...  
  
5,6. Brisk looks like he's concerned.  
  
Brisk:  
  
You don't know the half of it. I'm not going into any more about it.  
  
6,1. You see Boombastic, Momentum and Bender leave the room. Brisk stays with the doctor.  
  
Brisk:  
  
Is there any hope?  
  
Doctor:  
  
I wouldn't bet on it.  
  
6,2. Brisk is surprised.  
  
Brisk:  
  
You're nassing, right? One bullet? Against an invulnerable person?  
  
6,3.   
  
Doctor:  
  
If it's a bullet made entirely out of Kryptonite against the last scion of Superman, yes it can.   
  
6,4.   
  
Brisk:  
  
Damn it. I could've sworn that that weakness would have been filtered out through the impurities, like the rest of the powers.  
  
6,5.   
  
Doctor:  
  
Why are you so gung-ho about saving this girl? Didn't you leave their team before she joined?  
  
6,6. You see Boombastic, Momentum, and Bender over at a bar.   
  
Top:  
  
It's not her I'm worried about saving, it's my brother.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
One of your hardest, please. Charge it to MacCauley.  
  
6,7. The bartender looks at him strangely.  
  
Bartender:  
  
Are you sure? The last guy to do that ended up floating in the Asteroid belt.  
  
Bender:  
  
That kicked ass!  
  
6,8.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Hell yeah. Now charge it to MacCauley. I don't care if he does anything to me.  
  
7,1. Berdick heads to the side of him.  
  
Bartender:  
  
I've been doing this too long. You've got a problem, right?  
  
7,2. Boombastic sighs.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Of course I do.  
  
7,3.   
  
Bartender:  
  
Let me guess. Your woman did you wrong and you're trying to forget her. I hear it every day; it's the same story.  
  
7,4. Boombastic heads towards his belt.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Dood, I'm a Legionnaire. Our issues have got nothing in common with any other storys.  
  
8,1. The bartender looks like he's being entirely sarcastic.  
  
Bartender:  
  
Oh, you're a LEGIONNAIRE? You think you're BETTER than the common man? What happened to your girl? Did MORDRU turn her into a gnat? Did she get killed by the FATAL FIVE?   
  
8,2. Boombastic tries to explain it a little bit.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Actually, the Fatal Five are booked to terrorize a small planet far from here. I don't know who did it.  
  
8,3. The bartender continues to go on his rampage.  
  
Bartender:  
  
Look, ARMORED LEGION, your problem isn't that different than everyone else's.  
  
8,4.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
But there are some different things.  
  
8,5.   
  
Bartender:  
  
You never told her how you really felt about her...  
  
Boombastic:  
  
I never told her how I really felt about her...  
  
8,6.  
  
Bartender:  
  
She was your entire life but she only saw you as a good friend...  
  
Boombastic:  
  
She was my entire life but she only saw me as a good friend...  
  
9,1. Boombastic is shocked.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
How did you catch all of that?  
  
9,2.   
  
Bartender:  
  
I told you. I know all of these things.   
  
9,3.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, what's your advice?  
  
9,4.   
  
Bartender:  
  
I don't usually give advice. I'd just tell you to go and tell her how you feel. Maybe you'll help her out.  
  
9,5.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Come on. That only works in really codependent romance comic books.  
  
10,1.   
  
Bartender:  
  
Trust me. If it doesn't work, I'll give you free hooch for life.  
  
10,2.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
But why would I want to live without her?  
  
10,3. The bartender looks angry.  
  
Bartender:  
  
DO EET.  
  
10,4. You see the Bartender and Bender talk.  
  
Bartender:  
  
I think he'll be able to work that.  
  
Bender:  
  
I know his story. He'll work it with flying colors.  
  
11,1. You see Throwback talk with Brisk.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Is it safe for her to have visitors?  
  
Brisk:  
  
I don't think she'll really care.  
  
11,2. Throwback hits Brisk in the face.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Honestly, John! My friend gets shot, your brother's skeezy buddy Steve hits on me, and now that?  
  
11,3.  
  
Brisk:  
  
Just go inside.  
  
11,4. You see Cornell hooked up to various life support machines.  
  
Throwback:  
  
I cannot believe this.Who did it, why'd they do it, and why are you in that? It so clashes with your hair!  
  
11,5.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Darn it. I forgot you can't respond now. Quietest you've been in a while at the very least...  
  
11,6.   
  
Throwback:  
  
As long as you're out, I'll just say it. I was the one who dared Dave to teabag you that time you passed out. I also took the picture.  
  
12,1. Throwback looks down, trying to mimic the look Cornell gets on her face when she uses her power on other people.  
  
Throwback:  
  
I guess you won't talk to me now, so I'll just leave.  
  
12,2. Throwback walks out.  
  
Throwback:  
  
You're still here?  
  
Brisk:  
  
I'm just waiting for Shane to come to his senses.   
  
12,3.   
  
Throwback:  
  
It's Shane we're talking about. You think he will?  
  
12,4.  
  
Brisk:  
  
If he thinks about it, he probably will go for it.  
  
12,5. Throwback leaves. Powertrip enters the room.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
Let me see her or I'm going to turn the radiation on.  
  
13,1.   
  
Brisk:  
  
Okay. Go in.  
  
13,2. Powertrip heads closer to Cornell. You can see the areas around Powertrip slightly smoldering.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
I can't believe this. It seems like yesterday I first found out our powers...  
  
13,3. You see Powertrip, Cornell, and Throwback at a field trip exhibit. All three are in typical Catholic schoolgirl outfits.  
  
Top:  
  
...when my radiation was triggered by that piece of Kryptonite they had at that museum. You got sick from the rock and I made everyone in the class sicker. Quite interesting day, at the very least, huh?  
  
13,4. The area around Powertrip and Cornell is smoldering.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
You still aren't talking to me? You hold some grudges.  
  
13,5. The room is smoldering entirely.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
I mean, just because of the fact that I looked better in the Legion uniform than you doesn't mean anything!  
  
14,1. You see Powertrip leave the room.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
I hope you find your brother. We know he'll do it.  
  
Brisk:  
  
I hope he can, if only for his sake.  
  
14,2. You see Boombastic being brought in by the bartender, Momentum, and Bender.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
LET...ME...IN.  
  
14,3. The doctor stands in his way.  
  
Doctor:  
  
I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over.  
  
14,4. You see Boombastic start to shoot out a green flame.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
SMOKE THIS MOTHERSPROCKER LIKE...  
  
Doctor:  
  
Okay! You can go in!  
  
14,5. Momentum goes up to Boombastic:  
  
Momentum:  
  
Um, Shane?  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Yeah?  
  
15,1.  
  
Momentum:  
  
Mind if I go in and teabag her again?  
  
15,2. Boombastic lets loose with the same Green Flame.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
IT AIN'T NO THANG!  
  
15,3. Momentum is slightly charred.  
  
Momentum:  
  
Dood, you could've said "no."  
  
15,4. Boombastic goes into the room.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Whoa. Just um, whoa.  
  
15,5.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Why did this have to happen? Why is it that whenever everything is coming up Milhouse for me, something happens to make everything fall apart?  
  
15,6.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
I mean, it never fails. When I have a chance to get some major props in the indie hero circuit with the League, I lose my arm. When I find something to make life worth living, she's shot by some Khundsprocker.  
  
16,1.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
WHY DO YOU PUT ALL THIS STUFF ON ME!  
  
16,2.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
I can't believe my luck.  
  
16,3.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
They think I need to tell you how I feel.  
  
16,4.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Yeah, like I can do it.  
  
17,1. Boombastic peers out the door.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Bar-BOY? Couldja pass me a beer?  
  
17,2.  
  
Bartender:  
  
Come on, man. If you can't tell her how you feel sober, you can't really tell her.  
  
17,3.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
I see.  
  
17,4.  
  
Bartender:  
  
Now go and do it!  
  
17,5.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
I hate having a peanut gallery.  
  
18,1[1+2 small= 1.5 to each), 3 in the side of 4 (4=4-9)] Boombastic puts his hand to his prosthetic arm.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, hopefully this'll show how I feel about you.  
  
18,2. He slowly bends over to Cornell .  
  
Jocelyn...  
  
18,3.  
  
Boombastic grabs the wound and kisses her on the head.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
I love you.  
  
18,4. Boombastic leaves the room.  
  
19,1. Cornell wakes up.  
  
Cornell:  
  
What happened?  
  
19,2. Boombastic goes outside.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
I did it.  
  
19,3.   
  
Bartender:  
  
Well, is she all right?  
  
19,4. Boombastic is surprised.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
What do you mean?  
  
19,5. The bartender tries to explain.  
  
Bartender:  
  
Well, you did get your immortal invulnerability from the same manner that John here did, right?  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, yeah.  
  
19,6.   
  
Bartender:  
  
And you do have the ability to pass on and amplify powers, right?  
  
Boombastic:  
  
HELL YEAH!  
  
20,1.   
  
Bartender:  
  
Well then, it is your duty to go check on, um, uh, the power of true love! Yeah, that's the ticket!  
  
Boombastic:  
  
You got it!  
  
20,2.  
  
Brisk:  
  
Why didn't you tell him how all of his protection-based superpowers were just the case of having a really cool healing factor that worked 24-7 and not just when he got hurt?  
  
Bartender:  
  
The story strikes me as needing a cheesy style.  
  
20,3.You see Boombastic head in.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Where am I? I was in the alleyway, Conor shot me, and then...  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Conor did this?  
  
20,4.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Of course. Who else would?  
  
20,5.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
No one who'll survive more than the time it takes me to hunt them down.  
  
21,1.   
  
Cornell:  
  
So, how did I survive a Kryptonite bullet to the chest?  
  
Boombastic:  
  
As far as I could place it, Melissa focused her power to redirect your thrown invulnerability back to you, Cat tuned in on a radiation that neutralizes Kryptonite, and I healed the wound back to normal.  
  
21,2.Cornell gets a strange look in her eye.  
  
Cornell:  
  
So you're CERTAIN it's not the effect of true love's power?  
  
21,3. Boombastic is shocked.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Why would you think that?  
  
Cornell:  
  
Come on, Shane. I didn't just get invulnerability from the Big S. Super-Hearing tuned in to all that was being said out there and in here while I was out. Be a dear and bitch-slap Dave for me, all right?  
  
21,4.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Already have.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Due to this, I heard weird stuff like, oh, let's say you telling me how you love me?  
  
21,5.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
If I said it, it's only because my parents raised me to always tell the truth.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Well, I think that it's only sane to just say...  
  
22. Cornell and Boombastic kiss.  
  
Panel at bottom, "9" position:  
  
Cornell:  
  
In the words of Melissa, "Same to you and more of it."  
  
The end.  
  



End file.
